- Router must’ve been plugged into internet from an alternate reality where teaming up with 3 strangers on LIVE for some Nazi Zombies was fun. #
- Making a helmet that fires scorpions into the face of everyone online with only imagination enough to write “I’m bored.” It’s orange. #
- Helmet also has a switch for people that sign up for twitter and then immediately write about how stupid they think twitter is. #
- The helmet drops off a 75 mob in Twittlazan, right by that area where the lobster tries to sell you some Rolos. #
- @cunch I love that show. in reply to cunch #
- @staceywatson Screaming into the darkness, indeed. Now fill a sack with Mimobots and leave them at the meeting place. I mean it. in reply to staceywatson #
- @3liza I swore I wouldn’t pull off another heist, woman. Sure that cop had it comin’, but the kid? The kid didn’t have to die like that. in reply to 3liza #
- Old news, but a new review and actually a pretty fine take on Jellyfist. It’s like I’m respectable, even: http://tinyurl.com/cax5zp #
- @staceywatson That hurts my various feelings. I hope it was something amazing, at least. in reply to staceywatson #
- @staceywatson Now I really want to know the story there. This sounds both amusing and infuriating. in reply to staceywatson #
- I am afraid I am Duddits, guys. I…Duddits. #
- Alright, Elaine, 100 more of you since yesterday. Last hundred are off boiler room duty. New Elaines grab a shovel and get to work. #
- @rstevens I did. I did this while wearing my clothes three sizes too small for me, driving around on top of an R/C clown car. in reply to rstevens #
- Inking some artwork to be auctioned off for Australian fire relief. Bring your wallets, you cheap jerks. I’m a humanitarian, see? #
- @Venusbacchus Actually, the kids in the basement are the ones doing the artwork. I just beat and berate them until it’s done. in reply to Venusbacchus #
- I dunno…there’s a lot of pressure on me for being maybe the nicest guy ever to exist. It’s not easy being like this. I can’t help it. #
- I punch a guy in the face out of anger and, later, he finds that his facial cancer has been cured. Too nice, man. #
- I slammed a baby against a tree, and out popped the Corn Nut I didn’t know it was choking on. Mother hugged me. A parade was held. Gah! #
- I really wish they had left this scene in in ‘Babe: Pig in the City’ – http://tinyurl.com/c8jkyq #
- Should I land safely, I’ll go from 15 hours of terror in the sky to sadness over the prospect of 2 weeks of paying for internet access. #
- Just making sure before I take off tonight: Are emergency jetpacks standard on international flights yet? They are, right? Right? #
- En route to airport. Hope the fact that I am mostly plutonium doesn’t slow me down at security. #
- As a fine, cultured, traveler of worlds, I will settle for only the deepest, veiniest thrombosis. #
- Plutonium was a problem. Security said it was too badass. I nodded solemly in agreement. #
- Hate flying, and Seth Brundle’s too busy eating jam to perfect the telepods. Always the jam. #
- Agreed to emergency exit seat. Was asked if I was a capable sort. Punched a hole through the wall as proof. There was applause. #
- Apparently sleeping pills have no affect on me besides making me angrier. #
- I am in internet hell, Elaine! Data caps, time limits, and expensive. I truly have gone beyond Thunderdome. #
- I’ll try to update QuestionSleep as much as possible with very factual posts about my visit here. Expect lots of griping…and NUDITY. #
- Someone give me a lift to Hanging Rock. I’ve got to see some wormholes about some Victorian era schoolgirls. #
- Felt like an intruder in this strange place where I have no associations. Those girls eating churros on Lygon St were like aliens to me. #
- What interesting stuff is there to do here if you’re not a big drinker and don’t like mad, bloody sex with slutty kangaroos? #
- Without my consoles, I can only text with them back and forth from here, and Nazi Zombies via text is just a bit too old school for me. #
- Wii messaged me, and apparently it got locked outside of the house and is being chewed on by the neighbor’s filthy, feral infant. #
- PS3’s myspace has been updated with P.O.V photos, it’s hands visibly bloodied, slaughtered family in the bg. I should not have left. #
- Australia: DAY ONE – http://tinyurl.com/clcucv #
- Day two of game console withdrawal. A black ooze is seeping form my pores. Losing vital gamer-juice. #
- Learned that the Australian accent, unlike the cleaned up for American tv version, is more like the shrill screech of an enraged barn owl. #
- Wait…scratch that. Seems I was talking to a barn owl. Sorry, Australians. #
Category Archives: nonsense
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-20
- Leaving LA soon when it’s finally colder here to spend two weeks in hot, hot Australia. I had really better get to see a wombat. #
- Did one half a of a two button set that @cunch might put up on her store if I don’t just keep them instead. It might be TOO amazing, dig? #
- It’s like a big tidal wave of jam coming towards us, only it’s jam made of @Glinner tweets filling up my home page. #
- According to @essrose, I’ll be greeted by Lord Humongous tossing leis out to all the passengers. This had better be true. #
- @CapnWalrus @Glinner is the incredible machine built to make such shows as Father Ted and The IT Crowd, in reply to CapnWalrus #
- @essrose THE Feral kid should also be there, throwing a boomerang at the waving passengers now and then, harvesting fingers. in reply to essrose #
- @wefollow #comics #animation #art #
- I’ll give any one of you 10,000 dollars if you survive a night in this hauuuunted house. You…or your next of kin. Muahahah and so on… #
- And here comes our first brave soul and…Oh…oh, no. Ghost got’im in the face with a Barrett M107 sniper rifle. Supernature wins again. #
- Another challenger lost after being repeatedly beaten about the head by a ghost’s Master Replicas Mace Windu saber. That one’s purple. #
- No! Don’t try to rescue him! Yes, the ghosts have only shot him in the leg, but they’re using him as bait. Snipers will get you. Think! #
- I’m wondering now if the difficulty setting on this haunted house isn’t a bit too high. No one’s even made it to the porch steps. #
- The ghosts are using an RPG-7 to blow apart passing cars while they wait for people to try to enter the house. Definitely challenging. #
- Yep, @sindermann is not far off when referring to this place as “The Ninja Gaiden of haunted houses.” #
- Challengers have slowed. Raising the award to $50,000, a tour of of the acid vat and my Vincent Pricey mustache. C’mon. Tour my stache. #
- Surveying the carpet of fresh, bullet-ridden corpses around the house, I’m a bit sorry I initiated this haunted challenge. Sorry, guys. #
- I just…I guess I didn’t count on the ghosts being so well armed. Was expecting some old-timey chains rattling, not .50 Cals and such. #
- Just edited the wee video I made of J.R. Goldberg drawing her half of our button set. My glorious return to Final Cut Pro. #
- The SciFi channel without BSG’ll be like the person you keep around just for screwing having their pelvis fall off. #
- All the hipsters gathering at SXSW gets me thinking of Poe’s ‘Hop-Frog’ a bit. Should be easy enough to get them into orangutan costumes. #
- Wanna see a lil video I made of J.R painting a tiny “thing”? Sure ya do. http://tinyurl.com/cwt9og #
- Following up ‘Phantom of the Paradise’ with ‘Tommy’. It’s a night of grotesque musicals. #
- @essrose No. I don’t even have a joke for that. Just no. in reply to essrose #
- @3liza That’s why I only bullshit instead of regaling you with what celebs I am eating sandwiches with, or what toilet I’m sitting on. in reply to 3liza #
- @3liza Sorry. I meant what toilets I am eating and what celebs I am SHITTING IN. in reply to 3liza #
- @joeledbetter Never watched an episode but beating the living shit out of terrorists while I work amounts to the same, I think. in reply to joeledbetter #
- Elaine, I think we need to have a talk. There’s maybe too many of you now to sustain with the supplies we have. Some of you need to die. #
- Australian adventure is nigh, Elaine. Don’t forget to spare me the pain of live question taking: http://tinyurl.com/cyyu9d #
- Not sure which culling technique to use for Elaine. Logan’s Run style might work, but installing gems into people is a bit of effort. #
- What other famous herd-thinning tactics from books and movies might work best here? Elaine will suggest things now. #
- Shirley Jackson getting a lot of love in these suggestions. That warms my heart crumbs. Continue! #
- Coming in a close second is ‘The Most Dangerous Game’, based on an Ice T, Rutger Hauer duet, I believe. #
- I know, left to my own devices, I’d still want my tax dollars helping Dreamworks’ latest trash to hit it big: http://tinyurl.com/cfxr22 #
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-13
- @asmadasbirds I go out of my way to make sure I sit next to you on flights while wearing my best sandals and shorts and you say this now? in reply to asmadasbirds #
- Check out my new, real-world, constantly updated, projected onto the sky webcomic about passing clouds. Go on. Look up. That’s me. #
- Cynics say I.Q’s are dropping all around, but one look at today’s youth and hope just skyrockets. http://tinyurl.com/daeubk #
- So, I’m sitting here, just relaxing and smoking up some premium Smarties, and I’m thinking life’s not so bad. This shit is good. #
- Should I be happy that so many people headed my instructions to not ask HORRIBLE questions resulting in me getting almost NO questions? #
- The obvious answer is yes, but the deeper implications are devastating. #
- Saw a guy EATING Smarties, and not smoking them. I almost through up, but started choking on Smarties dust for about 20 minutes. #
- Almost THREW up. The ‘through’ was a side effect of the Smarties, man. This shit’ll fuck you up. Don’t end up like me, you awful people. #
- But thanks to the people who think I actually dunno which word was meant to be there. You guys are doing the Lord’s work…I guess. #
- I picture them getting updates with typos on their phone, doing cartoonish spit takes, and pulling over in traffic to point out mistakes. #
- “This shall not stand!”, they cry out as the car plows through a mail box, tapping on their phones with terrible intensity. #
- Having done the deed, a heavy COD4 guitar riff signifies that they’ve just leveled up from all the XP. New perks have been unlocked! #
- You guys need a name. Like a collective name to make referring you lousy lot all at once a simpler thing. Considering the options now… #
- Ooh…best suggestion, from a follower no less: “CUNTS” #
- Might make it a monthly thing, coming up with a new collective name. Not going with “cunts”, by the way. Too regal. #
- “Pedantic Twats” only covers a small portion of you, so no there. Reserving that for special occasions, though, as it’s too sexy to ignore. #
- Your collective name for the month of March is “Elaine”. Carry on. #
- This new post glows in the dark! http://tinyurl.com/bp7tnj #
- @3liza So….a “Dooky”? in reply to 3liza #
- @alienkid Random’s for grade-school amateurs. Controlled absurdity is where the magic is. Still, smoking Smarties is beyond my power. in reply to alienkid #
- @3liza I’ll have Stan Grossman look at you’re proposal. Looks pretty sweet. in reply to 3liza #
- @cunch ‘Slitstream’ in reply to cunch #
- @3liza Pink taco sauce. in reply to 3liza #
- @3liza Actually just ‘taco sauce’. Has a better flow. in reply to 3liza #
- @3liza I’d imagine those are meat curtains that you choke on. in reply to 3liza #
- Anyone have a spare sack of US to Australian power adapters? Thanks. #
- Thanks, Elaine. You’ve been most helpful. #
- @enicolle Thanks, but I’m still trying to use up the ones I already have. in reply to enicolle #
- I name you after the honorable Elaine Riddick Jessie and your only point of reference is Seinfeld? Turn your televisions off, Elaine. #
- @rstevens You’re saying that The Search for Spock was better than The Wrath of Khan? Is that what I’m reading there? in reply to rstevens #
- @rstevens Wait…are you now saying that USB 3 is Christopher Lloyd, and USB 2 is The Montalban? in reply to rstevens #
- @3liza Genital definition is precisely what I’m lacking. I never get picked out during police lineups for my genital transgressions. in reply to 3liza #
- ‘Genital Transgressions’ is my punk band’s name, by the way. #
- Because videos like this bring joy, and quality beeps: http://tinyurl.com/abp3bx #
- The Wii moans feebly under the game cabinet, drowned out by the airliner whine of the reinstated 360. Its time is short. #
- Wii cries out that Mad World is now in stores. 360 distracts me with a “Dickensian Achievement” for watching Bleak House on Netflix. #
- Pssst. Hey, Elaine, @cunch has new stuff up at her store. Times are hard, so be a hobo with neat goods: http://tinyurl.com/cl2qgf #
- Thought I’d take Wii for a walk as it doesn’t get much air these days. Barely out the door and it got jumped by a possum. #
- Not so much in retaliation but out of its terrible need for blood, the PS3 flew out, paralyzed the possum, desiccating it in seconds. #
- My kingdom for an iphone app development team. My kingdom, however, is currently a refrigerator box. It does have a moat, though. #
- @cunch bringing her button maker over today. Unlike most modern types, this one is a tiny, functional dinosaur like in the Flintstones. #
- Post: Elderly Bits: MSI Motion Test – http://tinyurl.com/asy452 #
Elderly Bits: MSI Motion Test
Found this lil thing taking up space on a hard drive recently and thought it might be of interest to five of you.
This was the first attempt at figuring out the movement for  MSI’s ‘Shut Me Up’ video from a few years back.  Josh here had not quite gotten the lyrics down, so there’s a lot of bullshitting here. Never did quite get them down, which motivated covering his mouth with animated, black censor bars in the final video. Worked out for the best, I’d say.
Looking at this, I’m reminded of how much more I liked the effect when it was a tiny camera being used instead of the bulky HD monsters we ended up using. Â The higher quality HD stuff ended up undermining the desired cheapness of what I was going for. Â There’s just more of a spazzy liveliness to this little clip.
Might talk about more later on about the actual making of the video, but for now enjoy Josh pretending like he knows the lyrics while spinning like a jerk.
The Desperation of Poopus Gonzales
Who could forget this scene that never happened, huh?
Along the same lines as doing collaborative drawings with friends and enemies while doing that thing that comprises far too much of a person’s time, waiting (Usually for fine cakes), now and then I throw a couple of pages of a script at someone for them to continue. Like this one, they never quite reach anything near completion, as nobody can quite reign things in enough to tell a story so much as create a horrific, incomprehensible dreamscape, but there’s usually some amusing stuff in there, nonetheless.
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