That's me when I was really into soup, apparently

Here’s the scene.  I’m running.  Not running a marathon, not out for a jog and not in one of those moods where I’m terrified of getting old and decide to just frantically use my legs because I still can and oh god the wind feels good on my face and I never want to shit my pants and cry while remembering what it was like to only shit my pants when I wanted to.

No I’m running for my incredible life, and the look on my face is that of a man who knows the zombie dog right on his ass is right on his ass but is too afraid to turn around to confirm for fear that to behold the thing would be to lose one’s mind, giving up not only their nerve but their very life.  Just one thing:  there is no zombie dog.  There is simply the person chasing me asking “How did you come up with the show Invader ZIM?!”
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Your typical Hot Topic store in the mall.

The response to these posts has been a bit more energetic than I was expecting, and that’s cool, but I can’t help but think of the people out there who are surely irritated that I am relating details that they feel are anything but entirely accurate.  You can just picture them at their computers, lit only by their monitors there in the closet that their parents have locked them away in for fear that someone will be made aware of just what a spectacular failure as parents they really are, angrily typing away, suspicious that they are being denied the hard, cold facts that will COMPLETE THEIR LIVES.
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SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN FOREVER!

One of the big rumors going around, and one of the most insidiously resilient, is the many headed hydra of a rumor revolving around why the show was cancelled.  I compare the thing to a hydra for the obvious reason that no matter which variant of the cancellation rumor you try to dispel, another, more preposterous one pops up and is passed around by people with such utter conviction of its truth that it reaches enough similarly lifeless types to grow roots in the ever-firm foundation of ignorance of ones’ own ignorance.

I don’t know how many times I’ve read or heard someone ask why the show was cancelled, opening the portal from the great cosmic inter-ass allowing THE EXPERT entry into our world, this being a person I never saw around the studio, whose name was never on any of the memos, whose voice was never on any of the conference calls, whose only involvement with the show was watching it on their teevee and writing themselves into hideously creepy adventures with the characters, but who has no doubt that they know the facts about a show that was cancelled a hundred years ago.  This person is a walking fact-dispensing machine and lords their knowledge on whatever message board or forum they are king tick on.  So when they talk about people and events from the production, they speak with such absolute certainty as to be experts, leaving no room for the doubt that should be in their heads considering their only source of information is entries on the internet from similar masters of their field.
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