- I was crying in the tub, like I always do, when my 360 baked me a BLUE velvet cake to cheer me up. It’s not even the elite model. #
- My 360 left me a pile of last night’s kills at the foot of my bed. #
- Felt the Wii was feeling neglected, so I took it for a walk. It got its head caught in a bear trap and shit itself. #
- @emmastory It’s like you’re living in a terribly boring first-person shooter. in reply to emmastory #
- This is only for my enemies. The rest of you stay away. http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=45869 #
- The Wii tried making me a sandwich and lit itself on fire. I put it out, but it slipped in the water and took out a bunch of dishes. #
- Tried cheering it up by reminding it how great SMGalaxy was, but it just kept crying, screaming something about Carnival Games. #
- Throughout all this, my PS3 silently observes, it’s obsidian mass attracting prehistoric apes, filling them with the spark to evolve. #
- Strapping a zapper collar to hurt me for every improper use of “it’s”. My 360 is kind enough to not correct me. It knows I know. #
- PS3 having a glass of wine, sitting by the window, lost in its own thoughts, folding genes all the while. The Wii has wet itself. #
- Whoever is hatching all those tanker bug eggs in Savage Moon, please stop. Just stop already. #
- I’m getting on in years, and my dream of being a plus-size runway model is getting more and more remote. #
- Thanks to your kind, supportive words I am now enormous and living my dream. You guys rock and I’m going to eat you. #
- I’ve eaten through a good deal of you bastards, but more of you keep joining, and I’m starting to get really sick. #
- I am an abomination of flesh now, moving as a liquid across the land, absorbing all, joylessly. My scrawny frame a distant memory. #
- I know the minds of each of my victims as they are dissolved, horrified by how many identify way too much with anime characters. Geezus. #
- Writing up last minute stuff for a meeting in the morning, but R-Type Dimensions is up on Xbox Live. Oh, cruel timing and such. #
- And no, I’m not back to normal. I now cover the entirety of the Earth, dig? #
- Hey…forget what I said that one time, yeah? I was drunk on fermented Craisins and needed to take it out on someone with your kinda face. #
- My dream of getting into video games is held back by that gypsy curse that kills any designers I speak with. #
- Ran over the gypsy’s daughter while receiving a blow while driving. Later on I replaced Peter Weller as Murphy in the Robocop series. #
- Although blowjobs in cars seems like the golden years compared to awful robot-ninja and Nancy Allen mushed into body armor. #
- Still, baking a copy of Carnival Games into a pie and getting someone to eat it hasn’t broken my game designer curse. #
- @cunch I made 400 accounts and am following you on every single one of them. I’m also staring into your windows. All of them. All. in reply to cunch #
QUESTION SLEEP
sit a spell, be gently shrieked at
