- In the end, I think it all just comes down to badass, cyborg wienermobile. http://tinyurl.com/5bd77k #
- No more handholding you through other wiener-dog stuff, kids. Just go on and follow @ECTOPLASMOSIS! already. You’re old enough now. #
- It’d be much easier to follow them if I posted the right link to their Twitter, huh? I bet it would. @ectomo #
- Michael McDonald vampire is even better than wiener dogs. http://tinyurl.com/479t95 #
- How did I manage all this Christmas traffic before I attached the cowcatcher to my car? #
- Preparing to tell you all the most spine-chilling Christmas tale ever devised to cure even the worst sufferers of megacolon. #
- So turn down the dimmer on your lights and put on your traditional rubber Christmas slacks, and get ready for a descent into terror. #
- To plummet into the very worst of your merry nightmares, if you will. If you won’t then disregard this and enjoy the cake in the next room. #
- Now that those assholes are dying of poisonous cake, the rest of us can get on with knowing the very heart of seasonal horror. Neat, huh? #
- Okay, hold on. The EPA is on the phone, worried about irreparable damage to the earth that all the unleashed horror would cause. #
- A bit saddened and somewhat offended that some of my readers would think I’d repeat the Halloween Story debacle of ’08. Come on, guys. #
- Little Broken Timmy, a tiny, malformed reader in a wheelchair even wrote to ask if the rumors of my procrastinating on this story were true. #
- Aghast, I told him not to listen to such ugly slander , and to put the helmet I got him back on, for he’s a monstrous thing to behold. #
- To be honest, lil’ Tim’s in the chair BECAUSE of this story, last time I told it, so I’m having second thoughts now. Feeling bad now. #
- @rstevens Back to My Mac worked maybe once for me on a trip to the bay area about a year ago. Friends are sick of me swearing it happened. in reply to rstevens #
- ShortHorrorTheater:Man dressed as Santa enters house to surprise his kids only to find them half eaten as the real Santa rushes out the door #
- I keep trying to crawl through strangers’ windows with a dirty garbage bag full of presents but nobody wants me in. What am I doing wrong? #
- Am I using the wrong style of ‘Christmas Brick’ to announce my impending flop through the shattered window or something? #
- Does this mean I can expect a bucket of pig’s blood being dropped on my head at the ceremony? http://shortyawards.com/user/JhonenV #
QUESTION SLEEP
sit a spell, be gently shrieked at
