From my sniper's nest

I killed a man today.

More importantly, I got in to San Diego to attend this year’s San Diego Comicon, the biggest, most terrifying comics (and by comics I mean video games, movies toys and black magic) convention this side of the boopa doopy.  I actually have no idea if it’s the biggest or not, so I through in the very vague “boopa doopy” there instead of something more specific that would require me to do any research.  Tricks of the trade, friends.  Tricks of the trade.

I’d love to tell you that these updates for the next few days will be as life-altering for you as the ones from when I attended the Supanova convention in Australia, but to be honest, things here are a lot less alien and therefore far less interesting.  I mean, in Australia, I was a child gazing in wonder at very single thing around me.  Did you know they don’t even walk there?   How do you go through 67 years of life like I have and never find out that Australians just squish around on slug-like lower halves until you’re there amidst a sea of the slimy bastards just mushing around you, slapping you on the back and shouting “Well done!” for no reason I could ever figure out.

I also got to write about all those celebrities that I was packed in with for the rides to and from the convention halls, a surreal experience that allowed me to have such adventures as being attacked by Katee Sackhoff and exorcising the midget that was powering Hayden Panetierre, releasing him from his tiny hell-prison.  I have to admit, as strange as it was, I’m going to miss being driven about all over the place in those uniquely Australian buses with the treads made of Koala bears all working together.

No, this is me, back in The States, yawning at everyone with their stupid legs and neckbeards, having to drive myself around in a car not at all conveyed by small animals, but don’t let that stop you from tuning in obsessively to find out what new boring things I’ve been up to here in San Diego.

Today, Wednesday,  was just the preview night, so I got to wander around without having to stick to any signing schedule or anything (that’s for tomorrow).  Hate to say it, but it really was pretty uneventful compared to what you’d expect of me.  I did get to talk to a few people that I had been meaning to say hi to. Andrew Bell gave me one of his O-No Sushis, which was quite nice of him.  People giving you stuff is always a dicey, nervous thing for me, as I’m always very happy to know someone’s being so generous with something of theirs, but I get uncomfortable about possibly letting on that I think this thing they’re giving me is terrible or something.  In this case, I think I did just fine, but, just between you and me, when I got the thing back to my hotel room and tried eating it, I almost chocked on the fucking thing.  How does this guy have the nerve to call himself a chef?  I was furious.

One weird thing did happen, however.  I was chatting with McFrontalot ( a lot of people think it’s “MC” as in Em-Cee, because of his career, but it’s actually McFrontalot, like McDonalds) and I noticed that the conversation was just completely generic.  We had been going on for a few minutes and the nature of the conversation was just so small talky and vague that I realized he had no idea who he was talking to.  Worse than that, he couldn’t take my eyes off my tits, and that’s when I realized that I had enormous breasts.  It all came back to me!  I wasn’t Slavegirl Leia at all, I had just dressed up as her so as to be able to walk around the convention without having to stop and do that dance that I’m famous for.  Noticed there was a plastic surgery place nearby while driving in, and I had them install some knockers that I could just slide in and out of the skin pockets that formed naturally as I was growing up.

McFront

Well, I’m tired.  Was a long day of wandering around the convention and then walking the streets to make a few bucks from a couple of a sick perverts.  Tomorrow will be a lot more exciting.